The Mind of a Really Lovesick Graduated Marauder
by ProngsxLilyflower
Summary: I'm sure I'm having my midlife crisis early. Twenty years early. Honestly, who goes from being a popular Quidditch player, to a Ministry worker marrying a woman who believes they should name their unborn son Wattie? [Hormonal Teenage Marauder Sequel R&R]
1. Men, Yellow Grass, and The Knight Bus

**Author's Note****: FIRST: If you haven't read ****The Mind of an Extremely Hormonal Teenage Marauder, you can still read this. It may get confusing when going about former characters, but I think it'll be alright. Lily and James ARE together.**

**Now... -gasp- A sequel! I can hardly believe it myself. But, well, I finally made up my mind about what I wanted to do with ****The Mind of an Extremely Hormonal Teenage Marauder. Man, I have a thing for long titles. I mean, just look at the size of the chapter titles, summary, and story titles. **

**Some other stuff, just for you people who enjoy Author's Notes: I DON'T like it when James and Lily argue constantly after getting together. I read other stories like that, don't get me wrong, but I won't write it. There will be bumps in their relaionship, but no big break up things. Also, James has changed a little. He's a little more serious, as is Sirius(No pun intended. Sorta). He also has developed some sarcasm. Heh. I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. READ AHEAD!  
**

**Disclaimer:**** THEY'RE SELLING HARRY POTTER? No, darn, that's just the iPhone. Well, looks like I'm stuck with fan fiction  
**

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**Chapter One: Men, Yellow Grass, and The Knight Bus  
****(This chapter is K)**

"This is it, men," I announced, gazing at the crowded platform ahead of me.

I smiled to myself. This was most definitely it. The day we were free from the walls of Hogwarts and allowed to do whatever we pleased in the worl-

"Excuse me?" Lily snapped from behind me, hands on her hips. She was glaring at me in irritation and realization dawned on me.

I grinned sheepishly and ruffled my hair, "Men _and_ my wonderful girlfriend, of course."

Just like that, her hard expression dissolved back into her usual soft one. "Thank you," she sniffed, returning her gaze to the swarm of people around us.

Sirius heaved a sigh from next to me, combing a hand through his hair. It was then that I realized how much longer his hair had grown over the short seventh year. It had gone from a shorter, sleek cut to a tamed, large mass that was up to his chin. My hopes rising, I ran a hand through my own mane. Perhaps it had flattened somewhat.

Of course, I had no such luck. Damnit.

I redirected my attention to Remus, who was now checking his watch. The leather watch I gave him for Christmas, mind you. But that's probably not even significant. Oh well, a bloke's gotta show off every once in a while. Don't stress the 'once in a while'.

Remus looked up at us with a slight frown.

"We ought to get going," he announced, clapping his hands together. "There's no point in just standing here."

Just like that, it seemed as if the whole atmosphere of the group changed. I turned around, so I was facing my three best mates and Lily.

Lily was smiling at me quietly, her eyes slightly swollen. She had sat with her other friends – her very strange friends who are all either sugar high or jealous of her – during the train ride and apparently, they had been crying. Merlin, it wasn't like they were going to Azkaban. I, frankly speaking, am glad to be leaving school. And they call _me _strange.

Without any warning, she hopped forward and pulled me into a hug. A very large hug which sucked the air out of me. I pressed a kiss against her hair – never get tired of that – and smiled back. She pulled away, looking at me quietly as she brushed some hair behind her ear.

"You won't forget me, will you?" She asked, although I knew we all knew the answer. She just needed some sort of confirmation that everything wouldn't change.

I mean, come on – Would I really ditch her after pursuing her endlessly for so many years? She clearly had no idea how many times my asking her out had gotten me in detention. Like that time I bought her a goat. I won't get into that for my own sake, though.

"_I_ should be asking you that, Licorice Stick," I replied softly. A beam overtook her face, causing my stomach to clench in happiness.

Lily carefully lifted her trunk, carrying it steadily with both hands. "You have to write, like, everyday. Come and visit me every once in a while. Merlin, life's going to be so different without you." A lone tear had begun to slide down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away. "I love you." With that she cast each other a quick smile or waved, and rapidly took off in the other direction.

"I love you, too," I called softly, burying my hands in my pockets. Merlin, I hope I see her again. Seven years of caring for a girl so much tends to do that to a man. I sighed, looking at the floor. I was _definitely _not going to let her slip away, just because we were going to be separated.

"That was touching," Sirius muttered sardonically, touching his chest where his heart was for extra emphasis, "Thank Merlin she's gone."

I rolled my eyes, slightly annoyed with Sirius's refusal to accept Lily. He used to support me in trying to get her, but I don't think he ever believed it would work. How rude, if I do say so myself.

From the other side of me, Peter spoke up for the first time. "Mum's waiting for me on the other side. I better get going."

I looked over at the boy. He had changed, too. He was still slightly chubby, yet he looked older than ever. His watery blue eyes were transfixed on the stone floor. He didn't want change, either.

"Hey, Peter, we're still going to be the Marauders forever, you know," Remus said, smiling in an assuring manner at the boy.

Peter looked up for the first time and smiled back. "Thanks. I'm not sure if I'm ready to go, though. With the war going on and all."

"Don't fret," Sirius spoke up, thumping him on the back. "The war will be over in no time."

Peter nodded slightly, taking a hold of his own trunk, "Keep in touch?"

What if I don't want to, huh?

"Of course," I agreed warmly, grinning at him.

He waved one last time, and the fourth Marauder disappeared into the crowd, too. My eyes drifted back to Sirius and Remus. It's just the three of us. Wow, exciting.

"Where are you two going?" Sirius asked us curiously, lifting up his own trunk.

Remus shrugged. "My mother kicked me out."

All eyes flew to the boy in question. Okay, my mum couldn't even kick me out and I drove her absolutely barmy. All Remus does is _read_. How can he get kicked out because of _that_?

Seeing our faces, Remus laughed slightly, "She didn't really kick me out. Just told me kindly that I have to learn to live on my own. And then slammed the door in my face."

I shook my head, exchanging incredulous looks with Sirius, "Okay."

Slightly pink, Remus looked at me, "How 'bout you, Prongs?"

My smile transformed into a frown. "Well," I sighed, "Seeing as I'm now an orphan, I really can't go back to my parents. Luckily, I'm not _only_ an orphan, but also an heir. An heir inheriting lots of moola." I waggled my eyebrows, earning a weird look from some passing by ladies.

Remus wrinkled his nose with a hint of a smile. "Would I be correct in saying that you would also be willing to allow an old friend to bunk with you in that large mansion you were left?"

Who could he possibly be referring to?

"Nah, Sirius is far too cocky for his own boots. I wouldn't ever let him stay in my house. Bloke'll probably go around saying that he owns the place and steal all the ladies for himself," I drawled lazily, earning a smack on the shoulder from the friend in question. Grinning roguishly, I nodded in Remus's direction, signaling that I was perfectly fine allowing a werewolf to share a house with me the entire summer.

Wow, I must be high or something.

"Sodding hell, am I forgotten over here?" Sirius muttered, scowling at us in irritation.

"Careful, Paddy-Boy," I warned, smirking at him subconsciously, "or someone may just think that you only asked us where we were going during the summer so we could ask you the same question in return."

Sirius scowled, looking rather irritated that he had been so obvious. "Well, if you're so deep, Mr. Prongs, why don't you tuck in your shirt?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Sirius released a bark-like laugh, although his expression easily gave away that he was digging for an alibi. "You've already got those dashing glasses. Why not add the dorky attire? You could start your own wise-arse club. McGonagall could be your vice…"

"Would the two of you quit your lame attempts at insulting the other?" Remus sighed, looking at his watch again. Imagine where we'd be if I had gotten him that book he wanted instead of it.

I smirked at Sirius tauntingly and grabbed my trunk. "So, Padfoot, where _are_ you going?"

Smiling as he levitated his own trunk, Sirius easily grabbed the handle of trunk with an arm and put a hand on my shoulder. "Since you asked so kindly, my own wonderful home in Muggle London."

I felt my jaw slacken. "You?" I asked incredulously, all thoughts of taunting forgotten. Sirius is an excellent friend, but he's never had much gold to make a living. His parents weren't about to lend him anything. "How?"

Proudly, he brandished a large pouch from his cloak, filled to the brim with coins. "Uncle Alphard lent it to me. I mean, it's nothing compared to what you have, but it's enough to make a living. Sure, I'm gonna miss them days when you and I goofed off all day in your mum's house– Don't you dare say something perverted, Prongs -, but It's time to move on." Dramatically, he thumped a fist into his chest.

He's buggered.

From next to him, Remus gave Sirius a grin. "Congrats, Mate."

I smiled encouragingly and nodded. "Yeah, that's excellent."

"I know," Sirius replied pompously, tightening his grip on his trunk. "I better go now. I've got a deal with some Muggle about buying a portion of his land. Don't know how Muggles react when they've been stood up." He winced and waved quickly. "I'll send you an owl once I settle down. We could meet up tomorrow." With a loud crack, he Disapparated from the spot. My gaze shifted to Remus.

And then there were two.

"Well, we best be off," I muttered, shooting him a quick smile as I straightened my cloak.

Remus nodded, returning the smile. "Yes. Hey, and Prongs," he clapped a hand against my shoulder, "thanks for this."

He's best off not getting used to it.

"Anytime, Moony, anytime," I replied lazily, straightening my glasses. "I'll meet you there." With a roguish grin, I Disapparated from the spot. There was the familiar tugging of my bellybutton and a loud crack. Moments later, I opened my eyes, faced with a mahogany door. The mahogany door leading to the Potter mansion, to be more specific.

I looked around once. The green fields had yellowed. Which was actually pretty easy to believe, as there was no one to fix it. Unless Uncle Henry, who chose to be buried in these fields, suddenly was revived and decided to start his new life as a zombie by maintaining the grass.

My attention returned back to the door. I brought my hand to the doorknob, ready to enter house after six months, but stopped as I spotted a note taped magically to the knob. Confused, I took the note off and squinted, reading the fine print slowly:

_Dear Mr. Potter,_

_We have been required to inform you that all your possessions, including this property, are currently not of your belonging for now. Dorea Potter has made it clear to us in her will that she does not want you to get your inherited valuables until you are of the age of twenty. You may pick up your supplies anytime after you are of the required age. Until then, your mother's possessions are in your safe at Gringotts Wizarding Bank._

_Sincerely,_

_The Staff at Gringotts_

I blinked, removing my gaze from the letter. Well, I honestly hadn't been expecting that of all things.

"What happened?"

I jumped, startled, and whirled around to see Remus standing behind me.

"Merlin, Moony, I didn't hear you Apparate," I muttered, tousling my hair.

"Shows how daft you are, Prongs," Remus muttered, smirking tauntingly as he snatched the letter from my hand. His eyes scanned it for a few seconds and moments later, a similar look of shock came over his face.

Suddenly, his eyes averted to mine, looking lost. "We can't _not_ have a place to go."

I laughed dryly, taking the paper back. "According to the sodding letter we don't." Annoyed, I shredded the letter and let it scatter on the floor. "Looks like we're both homeless."

"Don't be silly," Remus said immediately, voice higher than usual. His honey-coloured eyes made contact with mine. "We just need another option."

I bit my lip as I thought of a response, leaning against the sturdy door behind me. I examined the blue sky screaming 'Summer!' above us, squinting as the hot June sun hit my hazel eyes. "There's Sirius. We could room with him."

Remus looked keen on this idea, but only for a second. "No."

"Why not?" I asked immediately, looking at Remus with slight annoyance, "We know that'll work."

"It's not _that_," Remus replied, looking at me with a small smile. "Prongs, we both know that you've grown this year."

I have?

"So?" I beaconed.

Sighing, Remus raked a hand through his sandy locks as if it were the most obvious thing on the planet. "_So_, this is his chance of growing up. He's finally going to learn how the big world is with a little money, no teachers to bribe, girls to praise him constantly, or loopholes. We can't wreck that by coming into the picture."

He has a point. We'll probably end up being his personal maids. While we were Hogwarts the idiot even got us all Muggle maid costumes for Christmas.

Remus scratched his chin, deep in thought. "How about Wormtail?"

"Peter?" I asked in disbelief, "That's the stupidest idea _ever._ His mum makes him sleep at eight at night, he's not allowed to fly, and the food probably tastes horrid."

It only makes sense, after all. He's probably only so fond of Hogwarts' crap food because his mother cooks much worse. I winced at the thought of this.

Remus heaved a sigh, dropping his trunk onto the cobblestone path below us as he cradled his head in his hands. "We have no money, no house, and no where to go. Do you have any ideas?"

I glanced at Remus and bit my thumbnail. Slowly, I stood up straight. "I propose we stay with Lily."

His eyes instantly widened, "As in Lily _Evans_?"

I rolled my eyes. No, the _other_ Lily I'm in love with.

"Yes, Lily Evans. I've never met her mum, but I'm sure it'll be fine with her," I continued, smiling for the first time since we'd arrived.

Remus stood there dumbstruck for a few seconds, and then let out a fake, loud laugh. "No, no, no. We couldn't possibly– You've never even met her parents… It'd be completely unethical -"

"Its fine," I persisted, taking a hold of my trunk with both hands as I stepped forward in excitement, "Her mum sounded extremely nice from the letter Lily sent to her and she's never spoken badly of her parents. Well, not really. Lily can't possibly reject me; I'm her boyfriend…"

"Fine."

I looked at Remus in amazement, "Really?"

"Yup," Remus sighed, also picking up his trunk with a slightly disdainful look about him, "It's not like we have any options."

I beamed and began walking, "C'mon."

Remus followed me and we both walked towards the road down the familiar cobblestone path. "How do we plan on getting there?"

"Last time, I walked and it took two hours," I admitted rather sheepishly, "So we're doing the alternative."

Once we arrived to the side of the road, I took out my wand and stuck it out towards the road.

"We're taking the Knight Bus."

**» ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♥ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ «**

I am _never _taking the Knight Bus again.

I groaned, a wave of nausea passing through me as we exited the bus. I held it back, clutching the trunk painfully hard. Without daring to look back, I began walking forward.

"The house… Is it hers?" I heard Remus moan from behind me.

"Yes," I croaked, trying to ignore my churning stomach, "Boring, isn't it?"

I received no reply as we walked up to the front door. I didn't even give it a second thought – Well, I was actually feeling too sick, too -, but I rapidly knocking.

I uncharacteristically waited patiently as there was a loud cry of 'I'll get it!' and the shuffling of feet. I clutched my abdomen painfully, tapping my foot as the front door opened.

Instantly, all forms of nausea disappeared as my Lily gazed at me.

"James?"

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**A/N: First chapter! Tell me what ya think. I did send this to my beta. But I was a little excited and just edited myself and decided to post. Sorry. Har har. Well, I have no way of knowing when she'll check her mail, so it's up to you guys to point out errors! I'm counting on you. REVIEW!**

**By the way, I have no idea where this story is going. I have some events planned out, but I'm not even sure if I'll let it continue until James's death. Because, face it - It took me twenty-five chapters to write eight months in ****The Mind of an Extremely Hormonal Teenage Marauder, and James has over three years left to live. This may turn out an AU after Deathly Hallows - Who knows? (22 DAYS!) Well, let's see how things turn out.**


	2. Beggars, Candle Throwing, and Dabbing

**Author's Note****: Back to the days of weekly updates! I'm glad; if I could work this well on my other multi-chapter story, I would, I swear. Writing in James's POV just comes naturally...? Anyway, this chapter is probably one of the longest chapters I've written for this series. I guess, as I have to make this story span over a longer time, the chapters must be longer. That's fine by me, though! It turns out my beta, Isa or hermien103****, is on my vacation, so I was forced to edit this myself. As you know, editing isn't even close to being my forte, so make sure you help! By the way, in a review it was mentioned that Remus is unlikely to have no plans. Yes, I just realized that's true... Oh well, it's not too big of a problem. I'm hoping.**

**Thanks to: Amanda, Kendra, SweetSouthernGal, Cristipotter, ****Ale, ****maraudersGIRL92, Caramel, opungo, Hannah, Prongs76, hpisthegreatest, xSimplyxMagicalx, Genairco, cHoCoLaTe-RuM, Laurie, sharp-talons, marauders rox, Blossom of Death, xXx r a i z a xXx, redglasses, HedwigandHermes7, MrsKyoSohma61392, Lexie, ****and Isolde Eris for reviewing!****_  
_ Danielle/Kristen_- Ha, this should be interesting... Kristen, you're totally forgiven, and Danielle, nice job beating Kristen! Har Har. After this I'm going to go check out Danielle's stories; I've only really read Kristen's so far. :)  
_Tyem Marodyor****_- Yeah. Ha, thanks for pointing that out! It would be weird if Remus was scratching thin. It's just be weirder if he was scratching his fat, though. Teehee._**  
**By the way, did I ever mention how much I love it when you guys tell me your favorite line/phrase/quote? (Thanks, Danielle, Ale,** **xSimplyxMagicalx, and Kristen!)**  
**  
Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, there'd be a lot more Lily/James mentioning, a good and well Sirius, and much more Snape-bashing. **

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**Chapter Two: Beggars, Candle Throwing, and Dabbing  
****(This chapter is K+)**

I smiled at her and moved over slightly, so she now had a better view of a still-nauseous Remus behind me.

Wrinkling her brow, Lily leaned forward against the door frame, closing the door slightly so that we could only see her head. "What are you two doing here?"

Well, isn't she just an ecstatic little ray of sunshine?

"We're homeless beggars," I relied swiftly, "And we're begging you for a house." Nodding as I continued gazing at her, I crossed my arms over my chest.

She continued staring blankly, shifting her gaze to Remus for only a second. "What happened to your mansion?"

"Don't own it, apparently," I replied smoothly, putting my foot up on my trunk. I rested my arm on my knee, gazing at her impatiently.

She bit her lip, now thinking hard. "Sirius?"

"We can't stay with him," Remus replied from behind me, sounding worse than before. They should make things like the Knight Bus illegal. And flannel pajamas. Merlin, those things are itchy.

"Peter?" She persisted rather hopefully.

"Would _you _want to live with Peter Pettigrew?" I retorted, wrinkling my brow. I cocked my head expectantly.

"Touché," Lily murmured in reply, closing her eyes. She seemed deep in thought. In fact, I wouldn't have been surprised if she asked in her innocent little voice next, 'How about Snape?'

I stepped closer, surveying my girlfriend curiously. "Something tells me you don't want me here, Lils."

I heard Remus moan slightly from behind me. "Nice, Prongs. Keep stating the obvious. I _really_ have to use the bathroom or I'm gonna be sick right here."

"Hey, Freak, who's at the door?" I heard a female voice call from the background, causing Lily to jump up in surprise.

I froze. Okay, was it normal for Muggle parents to address their children as freaks? If so, when Lily and I get married – and yes, we will get married – we are definitely raising them Muggle style. I can just imagine the other fun things we'd get to do to the kids…

Am I honestly thinking of ways to torture my unborn children?

Lily rolled her eyes in annoyance, pulling open the door to reveal a stocky, tall blonde. I bit my thumbnail nervously, trying to recall what Lils had described her sister as. Yes, she had definitely mentioned blonde, tall, cold eyes, and an ostrich neck.

Wow, now I see why Lily adores her sister so.

"Go away," Lily snapped, looking up at her elder sister in irritation, "I'm talking to my friends."

I watched as Petunia surveyed us momentarily with her nose wrinkled up in disgust.

She _so_ digs me.

Putting her hands on her nonexistent hips, Petunia pursed her lips. "Well, tell them to leave. Vernon's family is coming over-"

"-_Next_ week–" Lily butted in.

Petunia continued, "–and the last thing I need is a freak show going on–"

"-Hey, who are you callin' a freak?-" I yelled furiously.

"-while I'm preparing-" The annoying sister persisted.

"-They won't disturb you!-" Lily snapped, head turned as she glared at her sister.

I doubt Petunia cared, as she continued, "-for their upcoming arrival-"

We all froze as a loud retching sound was made behind us.

I made a face, turning slowly, "Excellent timing, Moony."

Remus didn't reply, as his head was bent over a bush and he was wiping his mouth. Seconds later, he looked from the dumbstruck sisters to me and turned pink. "I_ told_ you I was going to be sick."

We all continued staring at the poor kid. I barely registered the sound of footsteps in the background and didn't even bother to look up until I heard the voice. _Her_ voice.

"What's going on here, girls?"

I rotated around yet again.

Mrs. Evans. Mary Grace Evans.

She looked like the ideal mum, you know, the type you see in picture books. Her hair was long, a dark brown, and her skin was only slightly wrinkled. Her eyes were a shade of gray to match her elder daughter's, yet were the almond shape of Lily's.

"Mum," Lily breathed, as we all stared at the woman numbly. It took a few more seconds for Lily to recuperate enough to actually plaster on a smile. She stepped towards me, placing a hand rather stiffly on my shoulder. "Meet my boyfriend, James Potter."

Charm, that's what I need. Like Sirius, all the girls say he has charm. Just act like Sirius.

Merlin, bad idea. Sirius would probably compliment Mrs. Evans' figure, say something sexually suggestive, and then kiss Lily right then and there.

Instead, I copied Lily's wise move and broadcasted a rather innocent grin.

Excellent start, she didn't seem intimidated by my discomfited behavior yet.

Felling brave, I outstretched a hand for Lily's mum to shake. "Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Evans."

Mary Grace Evans shook my hand quickly and returned the smile. "Pleasure's all mine." Her gaze drifted behind me to Remus. "And you, dear, are?"

"Sick," Remus replied in a slightly raspy voice, forcing a weak smile, "Remus Lupin. I'm a good friend of Lily's."

Worry passed over Mrs. Evans' expression. "Oh, we can't have that." Stepping outside, Lily's mum walked passed us and to Remus, "You need bed rest, Remus. Come, you can stay in the guest bedroom…"

"Mum, wait," Lily exclaimed, raising a hand to signal her mother to stop before Mrs. Evans got a chance to lead Remus in. Taking a deep breath, she allowed her hand to drop off my shoulder, giving me full ability to lace my fingers with hers. Ha, score! "Remus and James have a problem," she began, looking as if she was thinking very hard, very fast, "and they need a place to stay." She went into a deep, long explanation of why we couldn't stay at various places. Which I was smart to zone out of, of course.

Once Lily was finished, a smile crept onto the lady-who-was hopefully-my-future mother-in-law's expression. "That's perfectly fine with me. Remus and James can stay as long as they want."

**» ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♥ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ «**

"I will _not_ have two horny teenage boys sleeping with my little princess!" Mr. Evans yelled. Nah, more like roared.

Okay, first things first: I am_ not _horny. Well, at least not right now.

Now, Mr. Evans. Roger Evans.

Let's start off by saying he is not the type of guy you want to have tea with. No, he'd probably accuse you of trying to poison him, even when he made the tea himself. He shared many features with Lily – same nose, same ears, and same eye color. But his hair was a boring blond, much like Petunia's. And, well, he was so red at the moment that he looked like he was about to rip someone's head off.

Lily didn't look too pleased by this comment. "_Dad_! These boys are my friends."

Oh, Lily, I always thought we were more.

"And boyfriend," she added on quietly, as if she had read my thoughts.

So, we were watching their screaming match, the only thing separating the upset Lily and her crazy father: a mere coffee table. Me, Remus, and Petunia were watching intently from the couch behind them.

Mr. Evans crossed his arms over his chest. Clearly, he also shared his temper with Lily. "I never said they weren't, Lily. I just said that I will not have them sleeping with you."

"They won't be sleeping with me," Lily snapped furiously, glaring now, "They'll have their own room and beds."

Wow, she just looks so attractive with her eyes all narrowed like that.

Reminding me of an upset rhino, Mr. Evans' nostrils flared dangerously. "Look, princess," he began, obviously trying very hard to keep a mild expression, "I just don't think you're ready to live with boys of your age, especially if one of them is your boyfriend. You just graduated."

Wow. He's real smart.

Lily still looked on the verge of explosion. "You _know _that I'm not the type of girl who makes stupid moves which could hurt me. Does that make you feel any better?" She cried, flailing her arms to emphasize her point.

My eyes widened slightly. For some reason, I thought she had totally lost it and jumped me some two months ago. Oh, wait, that might've been because I was _there_.

"That's quite enough," A voice called from behind us. We all turned – again – and faced Mrs. Evans, standing with her arms crossed on the staircase. Her lips were pursed slightly, and her gray eyes were on Mr. Evans, looking at him in a sinister way. Her reply was met with silence, so she easily took the initiative to begin her way down the staircase slowly, black loafers clicking with each footfall against the wood floor. She stopped again when she reached the floor, eyes still gazing menacingly at the arguing pair.

She persisted, appearing almost livid, "We have company over. We do _not_ turn down guests, especially these guests who have only been kind and courteous to us." I bit back a smile as the three family members kept eye contact, refraining nicely from standing up and bowing. Instead, I looked over to Remus to exchange grins.

…Which I would have done if he wasn't sleeping.

Rolling my eyes at the disgusting display of my pale friend laying against a red pillow and simply oblivious to this excellent visual we had been gifted with, I pushed him away, causing him to let out a wheezy groan.

I heaved a sigh. _Werewolves_. Honestly.

Mrs. Evans finally broke the firm glare she had been sending her spouse and daughter, shifting her gaze to me and my devilishly handsome self.

"James, sweetie, I'm terribly sorry about Roger's behavior. Well, since you'll be staying here for what could be the rest of your life," she shot a bewildered Mr. Evans a meaningful glance, "I want you to know that you are completely welcome to do whatever you please. Make yourself at home." With that, she gave me a warm smile, "I'll go and finish up dinner." She stomped out of the room, not giving any of her family members another glance.

Petunia stood, looking purely cheerful despite the large amount of tension in the room, and strutted into the kitchen after her mother. Lily didn't exactly appear as keen towards skipping and or strutting and stalked out towards the staircase instead, muttering something gruffly about showering before dinner as she did so.

My eyes flew to a very unhappy Mr. Evans, who was currently glaring broodingly at the floor.

It was just me and him. And a useless, sleeping Moony.

After what may have been hours – clearly indicating that it was only a minute or so – he looked up at me. A deep frown was visible on his face.

"I hope you know that I hate you," He scorned bitterly. I blinked as he whirled around, heading towards the kitchen.

Wow, it would be just an excellent experience to stay here for the rest of my dreadfully depressing life.

I allowed my shoulders to slump somewhat as I ran a hand through my permanently untidy tresses. This should be exciting.

Heaving a sigh, I lay my head back against the sofa, feeling myself calm slightly.

School was _over_. It was supposed to be time to relax. I thought I had everything I had ever wanted; so why was I here in an extremely dull house with a man who would find my liver failing one of the highest forms of entertainment?

I turned slightly as I heard the familiar clicking of heels down that noisy staircase. Lily was looking down, looking much more unperturbed. Heck, she was even _smiling._

A Gryffindor sweater hugged her, sported with jeans, boisterous sandals, and a sloppy ponytail. She wanted to back to school, I could tell. I mean, come on – Would Lily really go brain-dead on everyone and wear a sweater in June otherwise?

I watched her approach me quietly, sitting down next to me without making a single comment. I looked over in her direction quizzically, earning a trace of a smile in return. She carefully laid her head innocently against my shoulder, taking my arm. She began toying with it restlessly, as if she wasn't sure what to say.

Deciding to take initiative, I allowed a smile to grace my own features as I looked her in the eyes, "This summer should be fun."

"Very fun," Lily agreed, not bothering to look sarcastic at all as she gave me a tiny smile. She set my arm down and closed er eyes. "I'm really sorry, though."

"'Bout what?" I asked obliviously. Hey, you can't blame me for being dull at times. Okay, maybe you can, but it wouldn't be very polite, would it?

She rolled her eyes, looking at me in disbelief. "Erm, I dunno…my _dad_?"

"Oh, him," I said, pretending to act as if realization dawned over me. I grinned in her direction, taking a hand innocently in the process. "You do realize I'm perfectly fine with him hating me, right?"

"He doesn't _hate_ you," Lily corrected as she bit her lip.

Quote: _'I hope you know that I hate you.'_

He chuckled, "Nah, I'm pretty sure he hates me."

Lily shrugged, a small frown bracing her pretty little face. "I wish he didn't. I feel really bad."

"Aw, don't," I prompted, pulling her into a hug promptly. I released her a few seconds later, the frown now replaced with a ghost of a smile.

"Thanks," she mumbled in reply, gazing at me unblinkingly through those gorgeous green eyes, "I feel a lot better now."

Feeling glad to have cheered her up, I faced forward leisurely, resting my feet on the coffee table – Believe me, I would never do that if Mrs. Evans was in the room - and rested my head against my arms crossed lazily behind my head. "I could always make you feel even_ more_ better."

She raised her eyebrows playfully, crossing her arms over her extremely enticing chest. "How do you propose to do so?"

I racked my mind, looking down at her with a small smirk, "What do you say to a thousand sweet kisses?"

She giggled childishly, resulting in my heart skipping a beat. I laughed myself softly as she gave me a good-humored whack on the arm.

"Oi, Freak! Dinner!" A voice called from the kitchen.

A grin sprouted on Lily's face. "C'mon. Mum made pumpkin fudge for dessert. Her pumpkin fudge is the _best_."

Excellent, fudge! Not only is it rich with a smooth, creamy consistency, it also is much cleaner than other desert items. Without even realizing it, I had stood and began to walk over to the kitchen. Merlin, you would think that her kitchen was crowded with _Veelas._

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Lily's voice asked from behind me. I turned for what may have been the millionth time that day, only to a see a disapproving Lily gesturing coolly towards a still-sleeping Remus.

I rolled my eyes, too lazy to walk those full five steps back to the couch. Quite rudely, I grabbed the nearest object and chucked it at my friend's head.

A loud yelp filled the air as Remus hopped up, massaging his forehead. Looking absolutely incredulous, he grabbed the said object from the couch.

"You chucked a candle at me!"

"I know."

"While it was lit."

"I know."

"At my _head_."

"I know."

"While I was ill."

"I know."

"And napping."

"I know."

"And dreaming very peacefully about-"

"Shagging Peter, yeah, I know," I interrupted impatiently, looking at my non-existent watch to indicate the passing time.

Remus looked disdainful as he walked over, followed by a Lily, who looked about ready to explode from stifling her giggling. "I was not dreaming something so vulgar."

I put a hand to my chest and widened my eyes in mock surprise. "Oh, I'm sorry; were you fantasizing about shagging Sirius?"

"No!" Remus cried, slapping his forehead in exasperation. I chucked softly, turning on my heel composedly.

We entered the kitchen noiselessly – well, excluding Remus's undertone ramblings – and were greeted with the sight of the three family members scattered around a table that was furnished with a table cloth, numerous plates, utensils, and napkins, and what looked like a large cardboard box.

Merlin, Muggles are strange; cardboard boxes as centerpieces?

I slid into an empty chair by Petunia. Also a chair as humanly far away from Mr. Evans as possible. Lily seated herself across from me and Remus on the other side of me.

"Nice of you to join us," Mrs. Evans greeted, looking at Lily with a rather stern expression.

Lily smiled sheepishly, "Sorry, Mum. James and I had a bit of trouble waking Remus."

This received an audible grunt from Mr. Evans and a scowl on Remus's part. I blinked, deciding it would be a good time to change the topic. Last thing I want them thinking is that I'm some 'Candle-throwing psycho'. Which I probably am.

Forcing a smile, I pointedly timidly towards a bowl of salad, next to a plate of garlic bread. "Is that our dinner?"

"No, of course not," Lily answered with a small giggle before her Mum could reply. As if it were the most obvious thing in the world, she opened up the centerpiece for me to have a look inside.

Oh. It's a pizza box. Right.

Lily's Mum signaled for us to dig in, and I greedily grabbed a slice, still trying to hide my embarrassment. After helping myself to a slice of garlic bread and a bit of salad, too, I looked down at my pizza.

Merlin, you would think that they soaked that thing in grease. Well, it does it make It shinier.

Without a hesitation, I grabbed my paper napkin and began dabbing at my pizza.

"Ew, Freak, what's your boyfriend doing?" Petunia called out rather rudely. Please note that she was talking with a full mouth. The horror.

Lily narrowed her eyes, thoughtfully looking at me as I slowly placed the napkin back down. "I believe he's dabbing away the oil on his pizza," she replied in a muffled voice, covering her mouth as she chewed. No, it's okay if _she_ chews with her mouthful.

"Don't be silly, princess," Mr. Evans shot, not even bothering to look up from the salad he was prodding at with his fork. "Everyone knows that pizza-dabbing is for girls."

Now it was Mrs. Evans' turn to look up at her husband, stopping in the middle of cutting a particularly large slice of garlic bread with her knife. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Mr. Evans persisted as I bashfully took a bite of my pizza in hopes of proving that I would eat a gross, horrifyingly greasy pizza without dabbing. Of course, no one noticed. "Real men just eat pizza. Fat and grease isn't an obstacle."

"That isn't true," Lily snapped half-heartedly, frowning at her father.

Mr. Evans looked up, putting his pizza down. "Honestly, princess, have you _ever_ seen a boy wipe the grease off his pizza before?"

I sighed in annoyance, exchanging weary looks with Remus, who had wisely settled with just some salad.

This was going to be a long evening.

**» ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♥ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ «**

"I'm sorry," I whispered, taking her hand as she wiped away another tear.

Lily forced a smile, shaking her head. "It's not your fault."

Dinner had been – For lack of better words – noisy. Let's just say I'm _never_ having pizza again.

It had been a tiring day, with leaving Hogwarts and all, so Mrs. Evans had suggested that we turn in early. Frankly speaking, I was far too frightened to disagree.

Remus was still feeling unwell, even though the bus ride had been hours ago. He was sleeping in the guest room, but Mrs. Evans had strongly objected to me sleeping in the same room as him in fear that I would catch 'whatever he has'. After much arguing between her and Mr. Evans, they finally agreed that I could sleep in the reclining chair in Lily's bedroom.

We were all changed and ready to sleep by now. I, being abnormally smart, had settled with sweatpants and a Montrose Magpies t-shirt instead of the usual boxers in fear that Mr. Evans would haunt me for the rest of my life if he caught me.

At the moment, my girlfriend and I were cuddling – Can't let Sirius ever know that – in her bed.

Holy Hippogriffs, I wonder what would happen if _he_ walked in.

"I wish he'd just like you," Lily moaned, laying her head against my chest. I sighed, wrapping a tight arm around her waist and stroking her hair with my other hand.

"Me, too," I admitted quietly, "But that's okay. I'm not in love with him, after all; I'm in love with you."

Lily looked up at me, big, watery, green eyes staring. "I love you, too."

I pressed my lips against hers, only for a brief second, and soon pulled away. "I better go to the chair. Your dad would…ugh, I can't even imagine what he'd do to me if he caught me." I faked a shudder, earning a small giggle. As I moved to get up, though, she grabbed my arm possessively.

"You didn't really think I'd let you sleep in that chair, did you?" She whispered in my ear, causing me to gulp. Too tired and enticed to care, I shook my head numbly, flopping back down.

"Thanks," I muttered, readjusting myself and embracing her so were cuddling again.

She kissed me on the cheek before burying her face in my chest. "Anytime, James, anytime."

With a mutter of a few words, the light went off, and I drifted to sleep with her cradled in my arms.

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**A/N: BE SURE TO REVIEW! I got a lot of reviews this time(In my opinion), hence the long/quick update! Keep them coming, peeps.**

**VACATION NOTICE: Sorry, I'm becoming more and more fond of caps lock...oh no! Anyway, I am going to JKR world(England...), and won't be back until the 19th. Don't fret for me, I will get to watch the movie! But I'm not sure if I'll be able to update in that timespan. I will get to write, so that's a plus.  
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	3. Laughing Hysterically, Slangs, and Lamps

**Author's Note****: It's been, like, forever since I've updated. Europe, Order of the Phoenix, and Deathly Hallows really kept me busy. Now, you will notice this chapter is easily half the length of the other chapters. A lot happens, though - It finishes up one idea and comes forth another. Next chapter will hopefully be considerably longer and will definitely be posted sooner. Until then, enjoy this one! Now, about Deathly Hallows - There won't be any real spoilers, but I will be changing something around AS OF NOW to go along with our newest HP book. By this, I mean birthdays and all. Otherwise, nothing really has to change. I guess I could make Snape a little less dark in Lily's eyes(Although she'll still dislike him), but we'll have to see!**

**Thanks to: Everyone who reviewed! I wish I could list the names, but that would probably make me post this even later. I really can't afford that. Albeit this, I read all reviews and am very thankful and flattered. :)**  
**  
Disclaimer: I own a copy of Deathly Hallows! Then again, so do eleven million more people... Back to moping for me.  
**

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**Chapter Three: Hysterically Laughing, Slangs, and Lamps  
****(This chapter is T)**

"Blimey!"

I forced open my eyes, head pounding as I scanned the room. My gaze instantly fell on an extremely freaked out Petunia Evans, mouth hanging open and face mere inches away.

Not the best way to wake up, believe me.

I felt Lily stir slightly before sitting up next to me. She opened her eyes slowly, stuffing her fist in her mouth to stifle a yawn as she examined her surroundings.

Petunia had now moved closer, looking the two of us over with wild eyes. "Oh – I can't believe what I'm seeing…"

Lily and I sharing a bed. Duh.

"I'm sure you can work it out later," I offered, resorting to turning over and burying my face in my pillow. Lily instantly smacked my shoulder. Very hard, mind you.

I moaned audibly in pain as Petunia started laughing rather hysterically. It was quite disturbing, actually.

"You just wait, freak. You just wait until I tell Mum."

"Pettie, give it a rest," Lily mumbled wearily from next to me.

The laughing continued, now more forced. "No! This is perfect. Mum and Dad'll see that perfect little Lily is actually not as innocent as she seems," she screeched.

Yeah, it's not like we're wearing our clothes or anything. Which we are! That was sarcasm, you see. You know – Oh, never mind.

"Yes, we got it on nice and good last night," I mumbled into my pillow, hoping dearly that my sarcasm out loud was better than my inner ramblings. "I think it was our best time yet, in fact."

"James?"

"What?"

Lily gave me a slight shove, so that I was now facing the doorway. I gulped. Loudly.

It wasn't just Lily's creepy sister now. No, now her creepy father was by her creepy sister's side.

I laughed nervously, straightening subconsciously. "Mr. Evans. Hullo."

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Well, isn't he polite?

I watched, horrified, as he violently grabbed a big, weird metal object off Lily's dresser and held it like a wand. "Get away from my daughter," he ordered.

Not feeling like disobeying, I scrambled up, eyeing him warily. I held my hands up anxiously as he began to approach me slowly.

Obviously something went off, as a second later, we were charging out of the room like maniacs. Well, I was running and swearing loudly while Mr. Evans was in pursuit of me, screaming like a hooligan while swinging around his weapon. To add to the excitement, Lily was following in attempt to calm things down with a giggling Petunia at her tail.

Wonderful.

**» ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♥ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ « **

_'__And when you get the chance... You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen…'_

I groaned, burying my face in my hands. "Would you _please_ turn that thing off?"

Sirius shot me a glare as he took a loud gulp out of the pop he was grasping firmly. "You think I haven't tried?"

I rolled my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. He obviously hadn't tried hard enough.

Remus, who had been preparing sandwiches for the lot of us as dinner, reentered Sirius's new fully-furnished living room. "The dishes are being washed," he announced, taking a seat next to me.

"Excellent."

"Yes – Why are you listening to that?" Remus asked, looking irritated. We all quieted so we could hear the blasted thing.

_'You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life… See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen…' _

Remus literally gagged, looking utterly repulsed. "Turn it _off_! I can't believe you guys listen to these feminine ramblings."

Oh, look who's doing the feminine rambling now.

Sirius narrowed his eyes in Remus's direction. "We couldn't turn it off, Moony-Boy."

Remus rolled his eyes and approached the thing which was playing it. Some sort of demented radio... We watched in awe as he poked a button with a square on it. He trampled back over to us and sat down again, looking at us with a hint of a smirk. "There's a reason that button is labeled _stop_."

Grinning sheepishly, I readjusted myself so my head was resting on the couch's armrest.

Sirius moaned, placing his now-empty bottle down, "I swear, when I thought of buying a Muggle house, I never thought they'd give me this bloody Muggle garbage to go with it."

Remus remained to be the only non-depressed person in the room. "Don't worry too much, Padfoot. You'll get the hang of it eventually."

Eventually being the keyword.

I stifled a yawn of boredom, glancing over at my best mate. "Don't worry, Sirius. I'm not exactly having the time of my life, either."

"Oh?" Sirius asked curiously, raising his eyebrows in interest. "Expand, Prongsintor."

"Well, for starters, Mr. Evans hates me," I began slowly, wincing inwardly as Sirius snorted, "and I'm also broke, living with my girlfriend's parents, and jobless."

"You should have seen them today," Remus chimed in, shaking his head, "Lily had to do a leg-lock charm to finally get him off Prongs' tail." Sirius quirked an eyebrow, causing Remus to chuckle. "Don't even ask."

Sirius turned to me, grinning broadly anyway. "He thought you and Lily were glossing the cat, didn't he?"

I stared. "Glossing the cat?"

He's officially crazy.

"You understood what I meant, didn't you?" Sirius prompted, waving around his empty pop bottle to signal for me to go on. I chuckled.

I nodded almost coyly, as Sirius burst out laughing. Now a vivid shade of red and beyond humiliated, I decided to imagine chocking him instead of actually doing it.

Once his laughter had died down slightly, he patted my back with a smirk. "Well, did you?"

I stared stupidly. "Did we what?"

"Gloss the cat? Drop the curry? Chafe the crayon? Bash the viaduct? Chink the-"

"That's enough!" Remus silenced, kicking Sirius in the shin as I laughed quietly.

Both of them turned to me, and I grinned. "Unfortunately not. We've only curled the onion once."

Remus ogled at me while Sirius thumped me on the back and stated loudly, "I've taught him well."

Remus shook his head in disapproval from next to me, although he wore a slight smile. "You two are idiots. Have you even thought about what you want to do with your lives?"

As if. He makes it sound like my thoughts actually make sense.

I shrugged and Sirius suddenly seemed extremely interested in my chin. Which was irritating, especially when he began feeling it. I smacked his hand away and glared, receiving a sheepish smile from him in return.

"No, of course not," I snapped.

Remus heaved a sigh, reaching into his pocket. I stared blankly as he pulled out an envelope and pushed it into my hands. He handed another one to Sirius.

I gawked at him. "Ew, get the bloody parchment away from me. Are you trying to kill me?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Just open it."

Feeling oddly obedient, I opened the envelope and felt my mouth drop open.

"How'd you get this?"

"Well, they weren't sure of your location, so they gave it to Dumbledore, who gave it to me to give to you."

I exchanged grins with Sirius, still shocked myself.

**» ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♥ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ « **

_'Dear Mr. Potter, _

_ I'd like to invite you to lunch on Saturday, July 15. Please meet me at The Leaky Cauldron at noon, sharp. I have some important matters to discuss with you that I feel you will have much interest in. _

_Sincerely, _

_Raphael Smith' _

Lily cocked an eyebrow as she looked up from the letter, a small smile on her face.

"So," I began, trying not to sound too excited, "How proud are you?"

She giggled slightly, stepping back, "I'm not sure, as I have no idea what this letter is referring to."

I stared at her dumbly. Was she completely daft?

"Hello?! Raphael Smith – The captain of the Montrose Magpies." She stared quietly, as I grabbed her by the shoulders in excitement, "My Quidditch team, Lils! I'm going to be a professional Quidditch player."

"Oh my gosh," Lily whispered, putting a hand to her lips in surprise.

I was hoping for a little more kissing. My bad.

I started dancing around Lily's room – We had locked ourselves in there in fear of the evil Mr. Evans as soon as I had Apparated back from Padfoot's.

"James!" She screeched.

I turned to her slightly, but couldn't keep the grin off my face or my feet standing still. "Yes?"

"Watch out!"

Before I could question her statement, a lamp fell on me from no where and I fell. I waited to hit something. And waited, and waited. Terrified, I open my eyes, to see that I was suddenly outside.

I had fallen out of Lily's window. How I did that, I'll never know.

Then, all of a sudden, there was screaming, a lot of pain, and darkness.

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**A/N: Please tell me how this was! I worked pre-tty hard on it, despite the length. I really was rather uninspired for some reason. Probably the deaths in Deathly Hallows. Good, sad book, that one was. Correct any mistakes. You can expect an update before the end of the month. Maybe Harry's birthday?...**


	4. Badonkadonks, French, and Dance

**Author's Note****: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY, JKR, NEVILLE, THE DUDE WHO PLAYS VERNON, AND KRISTEN! Whoo! This chapter is dedicated to all of you. This chapter is exactly what I'd been hoping for, for a change. It wasn't /too/ short or too boring. Not to mention that got it out on the day I promised I would! Yay! Again, no betaing, so tell me how the work is. By the way, some of you were confused about what happened at the end of chapter three. James basically fell out the window, haha...  
**

**Thanks to: Everyone who reviewed. I was really surprised that I got a nice number of reviews, with all the problems FanFiction has been having! Thanks everyone!**  
**  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. :( In fact, I've been told that I don't even own my brain...  
**

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**Chapter Four: Badonkadonks, French, and Dances**

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" 

"I'll be fine," I replied, annoyed, as I let Lily fiddle with my shirt buttons.

She stepped back with a proud smile, looking me over smugly. "Perfect. You're going to show that Raphael man who's boss around here. Kick all them other Quidditch-player-wannabe's-"

"Badonkadonks," I finished immediately, quoting what Sirius had used to describe Professor Sprout's behind. What? It's a fun word.

Lily stared at me blankly for a few seconds, clearly trying to understand what I had just said, but ended up giggling instead. "You're super weird, you know that?"

Unfortunately.

Grinning in her direction, I nodded and pointed towards The Leaky Cauldron. "I have to go. _Now._ He said noon, sharp, and it's already five minutes passed noon."

"Oh, five minutes," Lily gasped in mock bewilderment, covering up her mouth and all. Unable to think up a retort fast, I stuck out my tongue and whirled around to approach The Leaky Cauldron.

This was the moment I had been waiting for my entire life, the day I had dreamed about every night I wasn't dreaming about washing the gelatin with Lily. Not that I dream about that a lot.

Talking about the bloody woman…

"Evans, why are you following me?" I demanded, turning to face her in irritation. She smiled slightly sheepishly and tucked a bit of dark red hair behind her ear.

"I'm coming with you, of course."

I stared at her dumbly. Say, what?

"What?" I voiced lamely, gazing at her like a fool.

Lily frowned slightly and crossed her arms over her extremely delightful chest. "What did you expect, James? I mean, honestly, would I ever wear _these_ heels unless I was doing something big like this?"

I allowed my gaze to fall from her magnificent chest to her feet. Sure enough, they were clad in think, chunky, black, shiny things. Things I wouldn't wear unless Sirius was paying me ten galleons.

"One small glitch, Licorice Stick. I'm trying to show my boss that I'm a strong, capable Quidditch player, not some nanny-boy who wanders around with their girlfriend. You can't come with me!" I countered wearily.

We might as well get married. At least I wouldn't have Mr. Evans on my back…

Lily stepped forward, intensifying her glare. "James Charlus Potter, have you taken a look at yourself? You've got bruises all down you left leg. Not to mention that you're in cast. I need to be there for you in case something happens."

Yup, and if Lily's stupid Muggle neighbors weren't right there to see my 'suicide jump' and make me use their dim-witted medicine, my arm wouldn't be a ball of plaster.

I sighed, deciding not to retort in the fear of having bruises all down my other leg, too.

"You're not coming," I said firmly, beginning my walk towards the restaurant.

"Yes I am," she replied, right at my tail.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Mr. Potter?"

And just like that, I snapped back to earth. I had somehow made it all the way there and right in front of a booth with a glasses-sporting man-

HOLY MERLIN, RAPHAEL SMITH. My bloody hero is, here, right in front of me, speaking my surname.

I cleared my throat. "Erm, hello, Mr. Smith."

Smith was a tall, muscular man, something he had gained from all of that Quidditch he used to play before he was made manager. He looked around – er, I dunno – _twenty_ years older than me and had on some very fancy looking robes.

"Have a seat, James," He said pleasantly, signaling for me to sit. I sat across from him uncomfortably, followed by Lily, who sat at my side.

There was an awkward silence as he handed me a sandwich. Not a menu, no, a sandwich.

I stared at my tuna on rye stupidly.

"Oh, well, you were five minutes late, right? So, in that time, I was able to buy you a sandwich," Smith announced, clearly sensing the tension, "I'm sorry that I didn't buy two, I didn't know you would bring a friend."

I cast Lily an 'I told you so look', but handed her my sandwich as she blushed slightly. "That's okay," I muttered truthfully, "I'm not too hungry at the moment."

"I see," Smith muttered with a mouthful of his own sandwich. He swallowed with what looked like a lot of difficulty and looked over at Lily, "On that note, who are you, darling?"

Good question…

"Bodyguard," I replied, just as Lily blurted out, "Girlfriend."

Damn girls and their need to tell the truth.

We exchanged looks as Smith raised an eyebrow. "Which is it, then?"

Again, good question.

"She's my girlfriend, Lily Evans. I, er, said she was my bodyguard because bodyguard means girlfriend in French," I muttered.

Very ancient French?

Smith gave me a _look_. "Ha, really? I have some French background, and from what I know, that isn't correct-"

"Hey, James can speak French," Lily interrupted, looking keen towards changing the topic.

I looked at her, bewildered. I know about as much French as a pigeon's toenail does.

Smith looked interested. "Really? Say something, James. Let's see if I can understand you."

I stared at him blankly. I know, I know, way to pull a Peter.

"C'mon, James," Lily muttered through clenched teeth, stepping on my foot from under the table, "You can say something. Oui?"

I gulped. Let's see… If Peter were here, he would probably compliment Smith's nonexistent tie. Nah, not that I don't like the kid, but I'm not one to normally let things like this peter out. Haha, get it? Okay, never mind. Remus…well, Remus would have already memorized the whole French language in case he ever got in a situation like this. Now Sirius. Hey, wait, Sirius once used this French phrase on some girl. Excellent, it's probably flattery…

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?" I asked proudly, remembering the phrase exactly.

There was an uncomfortable silence. Smith had stopped chewing and was staring at me, as Lily laughed nervously and scooted closer to me.

"You did _not_ just ask your future boss to sleep with you," she hissed through her teeth nervously.

And that, right there, is my luck.

I, too, laughed nervously, as Smith swallowed his sandwich bite whole. "I'm sorry, son, what was that?"

Need an alibi. Hmmm, alibi rhymes with nearby, which is a synonym of near, which sounds like nerd, which reminds me of Lionel Smith.

"Lionel Smith," I said suddenly.

Smith narrowed his eyes somewhat. "Yes, James, that's the name of my son."

Lily choked on her sandwich as I choked on…well, nothing.

Lionel Smith was the loser who had been forced to share a dorm with us Marauders. Not only was he emotionally disturbed, but he was probably the geekiest thing, since, well, books. I mean, he was the guy who always had a handkerchief in his pocket 'just in case', who wore thick glasses even though his vision was fine, just because he didn't want his parents to feel bad about wasting the two galleons they spent on them, and washed his robes only once a month to save water. To put it nicely, he hated me.

"Why? Do you know him?" Smith continued.

I blinked. "Er, sorta…"

Lily gave me a small smirk, as I tousled my hair anxiously.

Now Smith looked interested. "Oh! Are the two of you friends?"

I opened my mouth to say yes, but couldn't bring myself to. See what hanging around total pillows like Remus does to a person? Instead, I decided to use an excuse. Thinking very fast, I snatched Lily's sandwich from her grip and stuffed the whole thing in my mouth. Smith widened his eyes in surprise, as I began flailing my arms widely.

Lily, luckily, seemed to get my message. "He can't answer, Mr. Smith; he's chewing," she explained, a strained smile on her face. I nodded, swallowing with a LOT of difficulty.

Smith was looking at me with narrowed eyes, almost examining me. It was one of those times I was praying I wasn't 'buggered with a booger' as Sirius might have addressed the issue. In normal-people's-language, I was feeling very self-conscious.

"So, how long have you played Quidditch?"

Lily and I both sighed in relief together. Changes in topics for the better tend to make people sigh like that.

I pretended to be thinking the answer over. "Well, er, I learned how to fly when I was two, but didn't start Quidditch until I was three." I smiled smugly and raked a hand through my hair. Well, until my hand hit a knot. Then I winced really hard.

Damnit, I knew I should have combed my hair before I came.

I untangled my much-emotionally-scarred hand as subtly as could, which wasn't very subtly, mind you. After peeking over at Lily and Smith, though, I was relieved to see that their eyes were still wide in shock, indicating that they hadn't noticed my little hair dilemma.

Smith soon smiled casually and looked me over. "Chaser?"

"Yup," I replied abruptly, "Have been all my life. Although, I prefer seeking. I'm very persistent, you see. That's how I got myself Lily over here."

Lily blushed from next to me, causing Smith to chuckle heartily. I smirked, knowing that Lily would do anything to crawl under the table right now. It's satisfying to know you can have this effect on people isn't?

"Excellent sense of humor you have, Potter," Smith mused, "Now if you don't mind me asking: How did you break your arm?"

And just like that, I froze up. I mean, honestly, what was I supposed to say: That I had tripped over Lily's lamp cord and fell straight out her window, landing right on her neighbor's picnic table? That's what someone truthful would say. Good thing I'm not truthful…

"I fell off my broom after someone charmed my broom's seat to get slippery while I was in mid-air. I landed near Muggles, so I had to use their remedies," I replied quickly. Lily practically fell off her chair at my lie, so I instantly grabbed her.

Smith, whose faced went from sympathy to annoyance in a millisecond, gave me a scathing look. "Potter, why are you groping your girlfriend?"

I looked down to see a flushed Lily push me away, and then I realized quite _exactly _where I had been holding her. Score for the Pottenator?

There was an awkward silence, as Smith heaved a sigh and stood up. Lily and I both looked at him curiously.

"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you at the Magpies' stadium at our first practice of the season – the first of September. You're going to have to work extra hard, as you're the youngest member on the team. I'll be of a much help as I can. Albeit, I'm sure you'll do excellent. Welcome to the team, Potter." Smith smiled slightly and turned around. I stared dumbly as he marched away.

And suddenly, there was a high-pitched squeal and Lily was hugging me with all her might, "James! You're a Quidditch player!"

"I know," I whispered, looking at her in amazement, "I am, aren't I?"

Lily simply beamed and gave me a quick kiss. It wasn't slow, hot, and passionate, but it got me just as excited and I returned it happily.

After dancing our way out of the restaurant - you know, like one of those dances that you think of four years later when you're asked what your most embarrassing moment is - and out onto the streets of Hogsmeade.

Looking positively bubbly, Lily took my hand and looked me in the eye. "I'm so proud of you, James." And I simply smile, staring back into those dark green eyes.

I felt my nose wrinkle as I noticed something – her smile hadn't reached her eyes. I know, I know, I sound like some emotional guy in a leotard from your great aunt's favorite novel.

"What's wrong, Licorice Stick?" I asked softly, releasing her.

The smile stayed on her face, "Nothi…" Her voice trailed off, though, as I gave her a 'yeah, right' look.

Sighing, the smile washed away just like that. It's sort of sad, knowing how fake it had been. "James, what's going to happen to us?"

"What do you mean?" I replied abruptly, hoping very dearly that she wasn't asking me to propose.

Sighing, Lily looked at the dirt path underneath us. I waited patiently for her, staring at her silently. Okay, so not too patiently; I was practically tapping my foot by the time she answered. "Quidditch has always been your thing and I'm honestly ecstatic that you're going so far with it. But professional Quidditch players are _famous_. They're on tabloids, their social lives are common knowledge among teenage girls, and they're extremely rich. Far too rich to be going out with jobless muggleborns. And I know that doesn't matter to you and you care for me, but what if the fame and fortune catches up to you?"

And what if I get run over by an overweight penguin and lose my leg, disabling me from playing Quidditch?

"I dunno," I replied truthfully. Obviously, this wasn't the right answer, as she let out a small sigh and crossed her arms. Never ever mistake these as 'questions with no correct answers', men.

I smiled slightly at her worry and curled a finger under her chin, bringing her head up so we were making eye contact. "But I do know that there is this really powerful thing called love which prevents things like that from getting in a couple's way. And I also know that I love you."

It took her a few seconds, but a huge smile slowly overtook her pretty face. I smiled and pulled her into an embrace. We broke away after what may have been hours, and for the first time, I noticed that we standing in the middle of a crowded Diagon Ally.

I turned to face Lily, but before I could say something, a look came over her. No, not like the 'constipated' look or anything too bizarre, but more of an 'I just got an idea, which may end up in a few people in pain' idea. Not that I'd know.

I raised an eyebrow, deciding not to wait around and see, "Let's go."

"No."

I frowned. "Why not?"

"We have to go home," she suddenly insisted, taking my hand and readying herself for Side-Along-Apparition.

I wrinkled my brow. "Wait, don't you want to go and celebrate or something…?"

"No," she replied sharply, "I have something which I need to take care of for you."

I shrugged and obliged.

* * *

**A/N: So...how was it? Good? Bad? Really good? Really bad? I think you can expect another update by next Tuesday or Wednesday. Or maybe even Monday, who knows? Now, I have a poll I know I'm not the poll type, but I promised the friend I made the poll with that I would put this on the net. So vote if you can, please. :)**

**Who would you rather pie?  
A- Draco! Ew, the guy's like, emo...  
B- Snivellus... Make sure it's a shampoo pie while you're at it. Gosh.  
C- Harry. Good guys need to go DOWN!  
D- Dumbledore. Creepy, creepy man. AND I ALWAYS KNEW HE WAS EVIL!  
E- Sirius, so I can lick the pie off his face...(I have weird friends, haha)  
**


	5. Author's Note

**Dear Readers,**

**I'm really very sorry about the long delay; my computer developed a nasty virus.**

**I'm afraid I have worse news, though. After lots and lots of thinking, I've realized that it's time to move on passes Harry Potter. It's been a great, great part of my life, but it's also done horrible things to me(I don't want to sound creepy, haha). I won't read anything else and I'm constantly thinking about it. The books are over, I can start a new obsession now.  
**

**So, this story will not be updated. I actually will not be posting any more stories again. I won't delete my account, but I won't be checking reviews, or anything from FanFiction for that matter.**

**Don't get too mad at me, please. I hope you all understand! Check out my friend, Prongs2xGingerFlower's stories.  
**

**-Lily  
**


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